Before Marriage – Stereotypes and Obstacles
One thing I’ve noticed about all the interracial couples I know is that they met through Islamic events or friends of friends manly because in the recent years masajids and Islamic schools have become more diverse especially in the larger cities so much so that you could have 20 friends each from a different part of the world. This has created a more tolerant and culturally sensitive generation.
As far as parents go and bring up the idea of marrying someone out side of your race, as you all know everyone is different. From what I have seen the more religious the family is the more likely they would support you.
For me personally being a Somali sister who grew up in North America, married to a First generation American of Indo-Pakistani origin. I thought getting my parents; mainly my father to agree to let me marry outside of my Tribe much less out side of my race all together would be virtually impossible. But after having several long discussions with my father and him seeking consultation from elders in my community many who’ve known me since childhood, he agreed. SubhanaAllah what pleased me most was why my father agreed he told me about this hadith “If someone with whose piety and character you comes…….( can’t remember the rest of the hadith) and said that this is why he agreed.
I think anyone who is thinking about entering into a interracial marriage really needs to think long and hard, talk to prospective spouses ask questions about the family and how important culture is, your expectations, your goals for the future, how you plan to raise your kids, if this person eventually wants to move back to their country, what types of cuisine he expects you to cook for him etc. Something as simple as sharing household responsibilities can become an issue because it may not be the cultural norm for our spouses family.
Whether same race or interracial, one thing I would advise anyone in a marriage is to make lots of dua and have patience and learn about each others roles in Islam. This is the key to any good marriage