alhamdulillah ala kulli haal(All praise is due to Allah in every Circumstance . Our Lord is The Most Generous and decided to bless us with another baby, M was born in June and we can’t get enough of the little guy..
If you’ve read my previous posts you’ll know that i had 2 miscarriages back to back early last year. It was a extremely difficult time for us and it has taken sometime to come to terms with the grief. Allah’s Messenger said “Verily your Lord is Generous and Shy. If His servant raises his hands to Him (in supplication) He becomes shy to return them empty”. Tirmidhi
M is a dream come true for me but even more so for his big brother who has been waiting a long time for a little bro. Our girls are just crazy about their baby.
It is absolutely incredible how much they all enjoy spending time with him, they’ve been very eager to take part in caring for him and so gently and with so much love.
It brings a smile to my face when i see them interacting with him and engaging him but the most tremendous thing is seeing how much empathy they have for him when he is upset, they would do anything to make him happy when he cries.
Now having said that it hasn’t been easy teaching them that as much as they love him that there are some boundaries and that has helped in giving them room to learn and grow but also make sure that baby M’s safety and well being is taken care of.
Here are a few tips on how to help your older children bound with the baby safely.
- Set Realistic expectations: Have many conversations with your kid(s) about life with a newborn. Specially the eat, sleeping, pooping that will be his/her schedule for the 1st month at least. They will become upset that they don’t get to ” play” with the baby but let them know how important it is for the baby to sleep and eat on his own schedule.
- .Teach them what you mean by gentle touches and how to carefully hold the baby and only holding the baby under adult supervision. Use some pillows to help with proper positioning so that your older child and baby are both comfortable and are able to maximize the personal time, an uncomfortable baby is a unhappy crying baby and might make your child feel like the baby doesn’t like him/her.
- Mama’s little helpers: each kid has a different personality so ask them what aspect of taking care of their sibling would they like to help with when possible. My oldest said that he wanted to be in charge of putting the baby to sleep by rocking him on the rocking chair. I told him that it might not always be possible but that when it was possible he would get to do that all by himself.
- Enjoy these moments as they come, some days you’ll want everyone to back off the baby so you can do things faster but these moments that they are really interested in the baby will go away as they grow older let them have their bounding time now so they can hopefully be closer in the future.
I Pray everyone expecting a baby has a safe and easy delivery and everyone who is praying to conceive and carry a child to term has their prayers answered, may Allah grant you comfort and patience Ameen.